Harry Potter and the Repellant Desire Vol: 3
by Vandy
Summary: Follw Grawp through a lonley trip. Enter Stan. How will the two of them see each other as a symbol for there own self doubt and hatred. Hilarity ensues


I'm quite sure that if Harry potter DID belong to me, then I would be on the receiving end of a variety of mental health exam and media scrutiny eventually resulting in my untimely but nevertheless inevitable demise

I'm quite sure that if Harry potter DID belong to me, then I would be on the receiving end of a variety of mental health exam and media scrutiny eventually resulting in my untimely but nevertheless inevitable demise.

Harry Potter and the Repellant Desire Vol. 3

Grawp whined softly to himself from where he sat on the fourteenth level of the Knight bus. Every women he desired eventually ended up being… injured by his natural male actions. The last woman had just fled the room screaming for help and holding her left arm with her right.

Grawp was unsure how her left arm had come off, but blamed it on the 1908 Chicago Cubs, seeing as they sat near the back of the bus balancing clones of Pierce Brosnan on there chin and singing a song about the Littlest Chimera.

Grawp took another swing of the Happy Sauce.

"Don't 'eel 'own Graw', it'll ge' 'etter," came the comforting but still infuriating accent of Stan Shuntpike. "I know what it's like to have everone 'ate 'choo. But after my 'arents stopped worshiping the devil and overdosed on dementor 'roppings, things 'tarted pick right up," Stan said.

"I know, but I still can't shake the feeling that no matter how well I attempt to fit in, I'm just going to have to settle for a really, really loose woman. And I don't even KNOW Paris Hilton," Grawp said in his Texas twang. He fiddled with his seat belt a little bit. Stan sat on his lap.

"It's ok Grawp, Just don' be 'fraid to be yerself. Hell, I 'tarted actin a bi' more norms' like and look at me! Only the fourth most 'ated person in the wizarding 'orld. After you-know-oo, trix strange and Barney afte he molested all them kidsies," Stan said.

"Thank you Stanley. You are always such a-EITHER SHUT THAT BABY THE FUCK UP OR I WILL HANG YOU WITH YOUR OPTIC NERVES YOU FAT BITCH- help whenever I feel down in the dumps, I just wish I was more like you… attractive… eloquent… smart…" Grawp said. Stan caressed his arm softly.

"I know how you feel Graw' I mean… I'm gay… there I 'aid it! I just 'mitted tha; I'm gay for no reason to you!" Stan said. He began to cry. One of the Cubs began to play the violin. Grawp broke off the man jaw and threw it threw the bottom thirteen levels of the bus. He heard the cry of a pregnant women as it tore off her arm.

"That's ok my friend. If I do say so myself, it's entirely possible that I too am gay an have no sort of attraction for women, thereby needlessly going against the introduction to this child scarring scene," Grawp said as he took off his shirt. Stan licked his nipple.

"'Choo know there a reason my names Shuntpike. It's cause I like to be ridden… I mean I like pikes… I don't even know what the hell I mean…" Stan said as he lay down in Grawp's hair. Somehow the wiry youth had gotten up to the giants head. "Here, 'oo just need somit toos calm yoo," Stan said. He handed Grawp a joint, which the giant inhaled deeply, using up the whole thing in one deep drag. Then he drowned the rest of the Happy Sauce.

"I think I live you Stanley. Let us explore," Stan jump down into Grawps unzipped pants.

The 1908 Cubs beheaded themselves with toothpicks as a very strange series of noises were emitted from the front of the car.

To this day Stanley and Grawp live together in a small tent on the fourteenth level of the Knight Bus. The 1908 Cubs' corpses are thrown at passing reporters.

Stan still has problems walking.

He has sued his tentmate for a kagillion billion zillion twillion challion galleons worth of KY warming Gel.

Grawp has responded to the suit by pointing out the fact that Stan entering into the agreement free from coercion.

From what "Messed up Pairings Monthly" has reported the make up sex was not only incredible, but also set a recorded for most bizarre use of pottery wheels, amplifiers, 1973 Fords Mustangs, and Jimi Hendrix.

Stan's voice killed itself last week leaving a note that said only:

"'ow 'an' I righ' somit eaningfu' hen I ant 'alk goodsie!"

I don't know why either. R.I.P


End file.
